A Year in Review

So here we are. The end of 2016, and I just noticed that I have written one blog all year.

And I was creeping on The Acquired Sass's blog and was inspire by her year in review as a way to tell all y'all, I'm sorry I done flubbed up. Funny stories await.

January

This was a good month. A couple friends and I drove to Snowshoe, WV to tear it up. Seriously the longest trails I've ever done, plus we hit up the terrain park. After many tries, I was and am still proud to say that I landed every jump on my second to last run through it. Airborne with speed.

I was, for once, wearing a helmet.

February

The most notable event of the month was driving to Louisville to see Deadpool and eat sushi with Brett... and then got caught in a freakish snowstorm and spent six hours making my way back to Cincinnati.
Luckily I had stopped at Subway for dinner before the traffic on the highway came to a complete stop. #crisisaverted #hangerisreal

March

Not much excitement for except the purchase of my beautiful orchid Clarice. (Flash forward to now, she struggles.) Half of my joy was just walking into my office and saying, Hello, Clarice.

Also framed a picture of Elektra and put it up like the proud parent I am,,, Even though she is going thru an angsty period.

Anyone else have a dog with an attitude?

April

April marked the end of the stories of my CCD children. I will have to go back through my facebook and recap one day. They were priceless. But they also solidified the fact teaching is not for me. 

Later in the month, I made the trip up to NYC with my two Ursuline friends, Ellen and Natalie, to see Emily's play. But on the way I stopped in to see Julie and the girls, and also planned a meet up with Number One.

 May

May was my trip to Japan and China. We lost someone our first day and we still don't know where he went. But through that scare, I ended up giving my phone number to two girls (CONTACT IF LOST) and we became fast friends. I ate and saw all the things.

June

Upon my arrival, back in the good ol' US of A. I missed my connecting flight in Seattle, but luckily 1/3 of Team Badass lives in Seattle and Number One came to my rescue.

July

Over the top celebrations and waffles were had around the Fourth of July. I also met Twitch the day before and went on our first date. Red white and blue themed, of course, you ungrateful colonials.

August

The pups continue to have sass. Heidi received her Doctorate. Mom, Megs and I attended our last Generations breakfast.... at least for a while.

September

Nico (featured here in Sister Date Night) went back to Argentina after staying with us for about three months. Twitch and I travel to see Brett's new house in Louisville-- of which I can't locate those pictures, so enjoy a picture instead of him riding a baby Lochness Monster.

October

My birthday month! I threw my customary Halloween Pinterest Fail themed party and it was a wonderful success. Twitch and I went as contestants from Legend of the Hidden Temple. Shanna and Derek flew in from Denver and many trips to the RenFair were enjoyed.

November

Steve and I traveled to San Diego for a 1031 Conference. We also went to the SD Zoo which was phenomenal and I got to catch up with Hannah and Nick and see their new west coast home. :)

I also helped my sister drive 553 miles with 3 children under three to spend the three weeks leading up to Thanksgiving with us.

December

Holiday parties about and travel plans! Twitch and I fly to Riverside, CA in three weeks for a wedding and start our marathon wedding attendance. I had no weddings in 2016 and going into 2017, we have at least five right now... before August. 

Wishing you all happy holidays and a great new year.

Just a few gems...

So it's been a busy couple months, lots of exciting things: I went skiing in West Virginia (hella successful- more to come), I have started going back to school for my accounting certificate, the CCD children I teach went crazy this past week, and my brother and I have fallen into the deep black hole of online dating (again), which leads to lots of fun phone conversations and advice. [Mostly this started when I gave him Aziz Ansari's book, "Modern Romance" for Christmas- it's good.]

It's also surprising more fun to online date when it leads to family fun time with your brother gossiping about questionable moral strangers, sometimes with him screaming into the phone, "No! I don't like him! The more I learn the more I dislike! Cut him loose!"

I had a real chuckle about two weeks into the game when my brother called to demand why I didn't tell him how online dating was the worst thing in the world. "I did!" I replied and then we laughed over how he paid money and he felt compelled to stick to his guns.

Being 500 miles away from home and stationed in the middle of nowhere has had it's detriments. I have had a smidgen more luck in the dates department as I have actually gone on dates, but not by much. Also I'm wise to their antics and am becoming less and less tolerant. When talking to a boy, who by the way I hadn't even met in person yet, about buying my own boxing gloves because the ones I had used at the gym smelled worst than death, he told me that I needed to go out and buy my own because he didn't want to holding hands with athletically stinky hands.

I told him he was bold to assume I even wanted to hold his hand.

Needless to say we had some differences of opinion and it didn't work out.

But in talking to my brother, I realized, although I did already know this, that he lacks the more humorous side of online dating: The People who fall "Outside the Filter."
Here are some from the last month in no particular order, enjoy:

"The CandyMan," the Hyperbolist. "How is the most beautiful woman in the world doing today?"

The boy 6 years younger than me who has the audacity to call me "baby girl." Also check out that username, MaximumPayne. My only consolation is that it's his last name is this is all a big joke.

The only who sends the same message week after week. There were more.

The spontaneous one! "Let's do something today!" Too bad I didn't get it until days later...

The one who is out to fulfill my financial needs and all my dreams!! Lol, no thank you.

This one is my favorite. The one going for the shock value. I'mma type this out for you in case you can't read this:

"I would swim through 300 miles of shark infested waters, smothered in BBQ sauce with two 45 lb dumbbells tied to my testicles for the chance to share a nice candlelit dinner with you over Skype on a dial up connection."

It's the dial up connection part that kills me every time. That shit was the worst.

And last, but not least, this gem: "I have a live-in, long term girlfriend and I have no intention of ending that relationship nor do I intend for her to discover my “extra curricular” activities. So why am I here and what am I seeking? In all honesty, I'm not entirely sure. Maybe it is the excitement of of a new partner, maybe it is the thrill of sneaking around. Maybe it is the opportunity to try new things or to live out my fantasy (or yours). Whatever the reason, I am putting myself out there and trying something new."

Alright guys, I'm out, enjoy the rest of your week.